I knew telling my Dad I wanted to move out was perhaps the most difficult thing I would ever have to do.
So I did it via a text message.
Crazy? I know right!
Before you crucify me, let me give you a background: My Dad is the strictest person I know or knew, I practically lived in fear of him, every decision I ever made growing up was made in fear of his reactions. He was a disciplinarian. God help you if he sees you talking to a boy on the street, you will hear it. He had standards and expected same from all his kids. He expected the best results from school, I was never the least in class but I wasn’t always far from it.
Yes, the cane was always waiting for me.
So yes, the fear of Mr Edu was the beginning of wisdom…at the time.
So confronting him about my decision to move out was a nightmare. I told my siblings and everyone thought I was mad. My sister was sure pops would disown me. She also talked about Culture and tradition, a young unmarried woman staying by herself was not customary, it was a taboo.
Many people actually had a lot to say, people had their opinions about the issue, fortunately, I had mine too.
I wanted to be accountable for myself , to live life outside the decisions and fear of my Dad, I wanted to take on the world and make my own mistakes, I wanted freedom (funny thing is I’m free now but I hardly go anywhere). I needed to know myself before attaching myself to someone else, I craved my own space, I wanted to know what I wanted from life without the dictates from my parents, I wanted a lot and I was too comfortable in my parents house, I knew I had to get out to get it.
So after a lot of consideration, I did what I knew how to do best, I wrote to my Dad and I poured out my heart. I ended with this sentence, “ I know you don’t always approve many of my decisions but you have raised us well and I hope you trust me enough to make this one”.
I clicked “send” and then went to my office toilet to pray and ask myself what I had just done.
An hour later, pops replied and said he’s wishing me the best and God bless me.
It definitely cannot be this simple.
I went home that night, thinking of my life and the plenty trouble I was in. He was watching T.V in the living room when I got home.
“Eku ile Sir”, I said
“Kaabo o”, he said with a smile.
Okay, so far so good. I went to my room, expecting him to call me and start the scolding.
I summoned courage, went to meet him, apologized for telling him through a text, explained why he couldn’t face him and asked him for his blessings.
And he gave me his blessings.
I’m glad I made that decision, I think I’m better for it today. For many people, it’s not about moving out, it’s about knowing what you want and doing it. I’ve learnt responsibility, discipline, independence, self motivation, learnt to be happy with myself, I’ve met God, I’ve learnt budgeting, bills won’t pay itself.
And I have the best housemates, we fight and we make up!
Best part is, my Dad and I are now friends, I’m no longer afraid of him but I have come to understand his stance on some things.
How did you tell your parents you wanted to move out?