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What do you think about instant affection and expression of same in a VERY NEW friendship?

I met this guy on Instagram last year, we exchanged pleasantries and he seemed like someone I wouldn’t mind talking to … lo ro kan, he’s a fine boy and yeah, he seemed decent too. So, I proceeded to give him my phone number, note that we had not talked much at this point…just pleasantries. I don’t enjoy chatting on IG.

His first message to me on WhatsApp was, “Hello darling”.

Err, Nigga hold up.

I told him I would prefer to be addressed as “Titilola”.

He was not deterred by my insistence that I would like to be called my name, for me “darling” just sounded too personal and we were not like that yet. He also talks about how much he misses me and wishes he could be there with me and things like that all this happened in a week.  All of these sounded pretentious to me and I told him as much. Anyone that knows me well, knows I am not a man of love (LOL), I mean I like to build and grow affection, it’s never automatic for me…well except there’s a strong connection which rarely happens sef without getting to know at least a lirru bit of the person. I am very traditional when it comes to friensdhips, dating and matters of the heart, slow and steady please. I told him I was real and did not like pretense and if he wants a deeper connection, he would need to drop the act. I said this repeatedly because mi o roll beyen. (I don’t roll like that).


Is this normal for some people?

But this is me and I’m curious to know if you guys think differently, do you think I’m going overboard about the endearing terms and expression of same (I don’t think I am) or is this normal for you?

Do you think such instant affection within a week is real or is it a deliberate attempt to deceive another person? Is it supposed to be romantic or it’s an act of desperation?

Have you been a giver of such affection or a recipient and how did you react or respond?


Kindly share your thoughts on this and please be constructive in your response, this is just a reflection of what is going through my mind and not an avenue to bash anyone or invalidate anybody’s feelings.



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About the author

I am Titilola Edu Peperempe God, a Lawyer, freelance writer, a rice & stew enthusiast. I am passionate about God, growth and money (please don’t blame me). Sometimes I feel like I am the next best thing since slice bread, other times I know it.

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January 7, 2021 11:31 am

Hi Titi, I’m totally in sync with your opinion on this. I had the same experience just a few days ago with some new guy, I didn’t immediately call it out but I eventually did. I just can’t stand instant affection, use of endearing terms and excessive use of emoji for someone who doesn’t know me well yet.
I realise though that it’s not always pretentious or deceitful from the other end, sometimes they are just desperate to build a connection which is why we must help them realise how building friendship slowly is always a better way. #my2cents

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