“Rabbit, leave me alone, leave me alone rabbit”
Akerele, a classmate taunted as I chased him around the classroom, possibly to retrieve an item of mine, I cannot remember clearly but I remember laughing but hurting deeply and feeling inept inside because someone called me a rabbit. He was referring to similarities my two big front teeth and that of a rabbit’ shared.
It’s amazing how far I have I have come from that girl that was so worried about what everyone else felt about me and my features to confidently flaunting these same “flaws”.
“Titilola, why don’t you like wearing skirts”, my then boyfriend would complain back at the University as he tried without success to get me to wear them often.
“My legs are not fine, I don’t want my “yam” to show.
Whenever I smiled, I would cover my mouth, so my “rabbit teeth” would not show.
I allowed the negative views and perception of others about my features haunt me for many years, I gave them power over me but thank God for growth and wisdom and the immense grace of God in finding and loving myself. It was and still is a journey, nothing happened overnight, it was a conscious and deliberate effort to love myself as I am, to realize that if God made me, then I was PERFECT in every way.
The result of many years of allowing other people’s opinion shape how I thought and felt about me was low self esteem and I suffered this for many years until I found my way to the path of truly knowing God and having a relationship with him. I would also watch series of YouTube videos on self esteem and personal development, I became intentional about filling up my mind with positive thoughts about myself, affirming good to and about myself, reading books that nourished me and constantly sieving my mind of negative and potentially harmful thoughts.
It was not easy, it has not ended, We Move!
Today, I am mostly known for my wide smile and laughter and I don’t send anybody’s daddy about how they feel about my legs. I might complain about my weight and all but I AM GOOD and FINE inside where it matters and no one can tell me otherwise because I am wonderfully and beautifully made.
We need to realize we are in a relationship first with ourselves and until we begin to see us as beautiful even in our imperfection and in whatever form and shape we come in, we will continue to live in the shadow of our full potential.
There’s so much greatness in you.
If you know who God is and the infinite love and power he has, you would realize he created you and me as masterpieces in our own rights and it breaks his heart to see us oblivious of that fact.
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